La Finale.

(placement and size inaccurate. will update)

So, everyone's pretty much done now.

Well I guess I agree with everyone who finds it hard to explain and talk about their own work. I mean like if it's merely answering questions in defense of your work, it would have been much simpler. But, starting from scratch, you don't even know how others think of your work, you just have to assume they don't have any thoughts and say everything. Which is hard, because, a lot of thoughts that appeared in my mind have come and gone throughout this period. My work is just a product of all these passing thoughts altering it here and there.

Oh well, I guess we have to go through this after all, so here is my best try (also first).

Ultimately, this work serves slightly as a self-assurance for myself.

I'm a selfish person, this work is about my problem, so you basically only can relate if you have the same feelings. But i'd like to think that many are going through this phase too. hah

I’m not bringing in like a societal problem or anything big and scary.

Its really just how I feel.

People have been asking me, so is my work just about this childhood-adulthood dilemma. Well, it is, but it is also like almost the loss of self-identity?

When one pictures an adult— mature, thoughtful..

And a child—childish, playful, naïve, innocent...

But when it comes to defining a teenager/adolescent (I hate these words, makes me feel out of place), its just not as easy.

The first thing that popped into my mind, which is what I have been exposed to since young, is rebellious.

And yet people don’t want them to be rebellious. So is there anyway else to describe them?

Sometimes I just don’t know how I should act. Should I go home one day acting slightly crazier and more childish, my family will be like “whats wrong with you, stop being so immature”.

And yet if one night I feel super stressed and can’t sleep because of work, they will say “you’re still young, you don’t have to worry so much about life, have funnn!”

Damn, do you know how frustrating this is? Like people expect you to be this and that and you’ve just got no identity. The way I act around different people are just so different. Am I being paranoid but I almost feel like im leading a double/triple life. One slip and my image in front of a certain party is gone. I believe in front of my close friends and before my parents, I’m somewhat like a totally different person.

We are right smack in the middle. I don’t know if I’d rather be defined more like a kid or an adult.

People say just be yourself, but I don’t know how.

So this is where the almighty Superman comes in. It almost serves as a self-reassurance, like the force within you that keeps you going on, that little voice that reminds you that it will be alright during the most difficult of times. Everyone has a Superman in their heart. You just have to keep telling yourself that somehow, there will be someway out of this mess. You'll eventually grow out of it. There will be light at the end of the tunnel.

I'm telling myself and everyone else that even when we face such a confusing situation, we just have to calm down, and we don't need to get too worked up or emotional about these problems. And in this case, it reminds us that maybe it is a phase everyone has to go through in their lives somehow. How we go through this phase and some of the decisions made then will define us as who we are in the future. It is when we conquer our fear of being lost, that we can be found. The process of finding our way out of this confusion of self-identity is what that will make us.

I am confused by what I just wrote.

SO, if there are people out there who feel this same way, please join the club, and if there isn’t, well, excuse me while I retreat to me self-pity corner.